A Journey of Biblical Truth
LeadHer Network exists to live out biblical truth while building meaningful, authentic community. Throughout this year’s journey, we have explored vision, community, healing, identity, and spiritual authority.
This month, our focus was on renewing our minds through spiritual disciplines and prayer so that lasting transformation can take place, not simply during a meeting, but in our everyday lives. Each month’s practical homework and discussion are designed to help us apply what we are learning beyond the meeting room.
Identity Before Activity
During our LeadHer Network meeting, Rev. Emily Oakley shared a timely and powerful message about identity, reminding us that in a world full of noise, responsibilities, labels, and expectations, it is easy to lose sight of who we truly are.
Before we are leaders, mothers, wives, professionals, friends, entrepreneurs, or anything else, we are daughters of the King.
Emily is an ordained Assemblies of God minister, published author, and the founder and CEO of Rebirth Ministries, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit ministry devoted to encouraging and equipping the Body of Christ through speaking and training.
Who Are We Really?
Emily began by sharing that identity is something every person wrestles with, regardless of their life experiences, circumstances, or the labels they may carry.
We live in a culture that continually demands our attention. We can become consumed by what we are doing, accomplishing, fixing, managing, and trying to prove. In the middle of all that activity, we may forget who we are.
Using the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38–42, Emily contrasted doing for Jesus with being with Jesus. Martha was busy serving, while Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen. Jesus affirmed Mary’s choice as the “better portion.”
Hospitality was a gift God gave Martha, but it was never meant to become the source of her value. In the same way, leadership is a gift. Motherhood is a role. A career is a role. Accomplishments are experiences we may have. But none of these things are meant to become our identity.
Our identity must come before our activity.
Three Lies About Identity
Emily challenged us to recognize three common lies that can shape the way we see ourselves:
- “I am the sum of my past.”
Mistakes, failures, rejection, and previous seasons do not define who we are today. Through Christ, our past does not have the final word. - “I am the sum of what I accomplish.”
Titles, careers, accomplishments, and responsibilities can all change. They are things we do—not who we are. We remain God’s workmanship and His beloved daughters regardless of professional status, success, or season. - “I am the sum of the labels I carry.”
The world may place labels on us based on our experiences, emotions, struggles, circumstances, or relationships. But there is an important difference between experiencing something and allowing that experience to become our identity.
Emily also drew a meaningful distinction between conviction and condemnation. Conviction draws us toward Jesus and invites us into freedom. Condemnation pushes us away, telling us we are too broken, too far gone, or too defined by our past to come near.
God is not interested only in removing visible symptoms. He wants to lovingly address the deeper roots beneath our struggles.
A Story of Transformation
Emily shared honestly from her own journey through rejection, insecurity, codependency, depression, anorexia, same-sex attraction, and the deep desire to belong. Her testimony illustrated how unresolved rejection and the longing to be accepted can become intertwined with the way we view ourselves.
Over time, through godly community, truth, conviction, and allowing God to uncover the roots beneath those struggles, Emily discovered that she was no longer defined by rejection—or by the people who accepted or rejected her.
Her message returned again and again to one steady truth:
“I am a daughter of the King.”
That identity is more secure than any title, relationship, accomplishment, emotion, failure, season, or label.
A Sending and Invitation
This gathering was especially meaningful as it marked one of Emily’s final speaking engagements before beginning missionary work in Mississippi. Through school assemblies and outreach to high school and college-aged students, her vision is to create welcoming “neutral zones” where young people can hear the Gospel and then be connected with local churches for discipleship.
We are grateful for Emily’s willingness to share her story, teach biblical truth with compassion, and encourage women to find their identity in Christ alone.
Learn more about Emily Oakley and her Gospel outreach, Rebirth Ministries, at rebirthmin.com. You can also support her ministry through giving.ag.org and find her books on Amazon, all of which will fund her missionary work in Mississippi.
For more meeting highlights, videos, and follow-up conversations, visit the LeadHer Network Facebook group.
